Have you ever experienced mixed
feelings? You know - feelings that can
be dichotomous, conflicting and confusing?
Feelings that on the one hand you’re engaging with, and then in moment’s
notice, those same feelings have a canny way of presenting a betrayal? These past few days have introduced some
differing emotions within that I’m trying to reconcile.
You see, I had the honor of traveling with
three friends to Ethiopia these past few weeks on what we call a “short term”
mission trip. We taught leadership
principles, we shared our convictions concerning our Maker and we were able to
provide financial assistance in some pretty difficult circumstances. All in all, this was one of my favorite trips
to date; my team members and I are eternally grateful.
My struggle, if you will, is re-entering
my western world with the niceties, the privileges and the overwhelming
opulence our culture affords that was absent during my brief journey; the
shortage of these cultural particulars that I have come to love & cherish
has a way of indicting my ungrateful heart.
Now, I’m not complaining and I understand a bit about sovereignty and
providence; I’m trained in that vein and teach on it. However, my issue is how I take the lessons
I’ve learned in a foreign land and incorporate them into my daily
existence. Things like being
appreciative of clean running water, of a working refrigerator that keeps my
leftover meatloaf fresh, those snicker bars in the cupboard calling my name and
the 17 pairs of shoes in my closet waiting to be worn. My fear is jumping back into the rat race
that defines my life & getting caught up in my daily duties that I
forget. I worry I will forget to wire
money so our church there can buy a generator to provide lights for their
evening worship service. Anxious that I
will be remiss in raising funds to bring water from the earth so my friends might
have a cup of cold water once in a life time.
Frazzled I will neglect to pray for the precious Jews in the Felasha
village that welcomed us with open arms into their synagogue last week during
that crazy African rain storm.
Well,
I can go on and on, no question. As I
write my thoughts, I’m reminded of a passage recorded a number of years ago
that goes like this, “… in all things be thankful, for this is God’s will for
you.” In my vernacular, “Randy, be
grateful for what you have. No need to
feel guilty. Remember where your life
comes from. Be mindful of others; be
generous, benevolent and compassionate.
As you do, these mixed feelings will meld into nuggets of appreciation
and an awe-inspiring gratitude for your Creator.” Hum? When I look at these feelings from that
vantage, I’m comforted and settled. As
soon as I forget the Source, I’m conflicted.
I met a Police Commander named Ahegnwesh a
number of years ago in a town called Gondar, Ethiopia. Last week, I wanted my friends to meet
her. Now, Ahegnwesh lives in a tiny
shack, no running water and a bathroom that is nothing more than a hole in the
ground; her stove is Eucalyptus branches.
This gal is amazing. No she
doesn’t have what we have, yet in many ways, she has so much more. She has continual joy, a smile that speaks
volumes of a blessed heart and a way about her that is so contagious. She had us in her little hut to provide a
traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony.
During our two hour visit, she could not stop smiling; giggling and telling
us how much she loved us. When I showed Ahegnwesh
my MBPD identification, she slapped me on the arm and said, “…ah!” Not sure what that meant, but I do know it
was a sock of affirmation.
You’ve heard that a picture speaks a
thousand words? Check out Ahegnwesh’s picture
below, her face glows with contentment, grace and life is good. And, I submit to you her life is focused on
the comforting love of her Designer.
Well, thanks for hearing me
out. I’m still working through this and
you would think I’d have this figured out after 30 of these trips
overseas. But I do know one thing, the
more I look up the more I am grateful for what’s before. Have a great day and offer a word of thanks
for what you have, it is a gift from above.
