An old journal entry

Just found this and thought I'd share an old journal entry from September 10, 1996; I wrote this at 3:58 in the morning...

"At first, I couldn't sleep.  So, I'm laying there grumbling in my spirit and Tanzania is visioned across my mind, wow!  Okay, I'm next to the most beautiful woman in the world; alright, I can deal with that... I mean, I was away from her for 24 days.  Oh yea, I'm not on a mat in the middle of an African rain storm, getting wet by the second.  I'm not sleeping in the hotel, or guest house, where prostitutes frequent and most likely brought their sin to the very bed I had to rest on.  I'm not sleeping in a mosquito net to protect me from the malaria infested mosquito looming in the room to strike at me.  Or, I'm not outside on rocks in a remote village - hey, I am on a $3,000 bed, a designer style bed that is without a doubt the most comfy bed in the world - a bed that is paid in full, too!  Thanks Lord, I guess I am thankful.  Okay, I will try and sleep.  Nope, can't do it.  So, I go downstairs and open the fridge.  Oh, I forgot, East Africans don't have these cold boxes, thanks Lord.  Out comes 3 sets of juices, 3 bags of chips, 3 peanut butter sandwiches, 3 cookies wrapped in plastic bags to put into 3 brown sacks - you know, food for my three guys for their lunch at school (...can you imagine if my friends in Africa had this luxury?).  Thanks Lord!  I guess I will do start my laundry now; man, do you remember Regina - our African servant, 11,000 miles away?  The one who worked 14 hours a day to feed our team; and, when we retired to rest, she stayed up to cleaned my grimy and smelly clothes for only 200 shillings!  Oh, my washer and dryer... over a $1000, paid for.  Thank you again Lord, how can I be so ungrateful?  Well, I've made it back to my desk, ready to read my Bible - a Bible that costs over 2 months of income for my new friends in Africa; and, not to mention, one of five I own.  Most Tanzanians can't read and most, well, most could never afford God's Word.  My coffee is done now, so I go to the kitchen and put in French vanilla (... do you remember complaining because the chi they gave us had milk in it?) to accompany my addiction.  Back in my home office now, sitting on a designer chair, a desk that is well over $1200; man, what a luxury (do you remember the chair Marty sat in and it broke?  That chair was so old; I would throw it away - the Tanzanians, they immediately began to fix it).  Oh yea, the lights that allow me to read my Bible and write this, they're really bright - nothing like the tin cans that frequent the homes in Tanzania, cans filled with kerosene that emit a black smoke that not only made me cough, the light was so dim I couldn't really see anything.  My eyes are now tearing up; in fact, tears are racing down my cheeks.  I have so much to be thankful for... I am so blessed.  The Psalm that got to me is chapter 50, verse 23, 'He who sacrifices thanks offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God!'  Forgive me Lord for neglecting a grateful heart... thanks, thanks and thanks!  You are so good to me my Savior, may Your Name be blessed forever and ever, amen."

Looking back, all these years, I find myself still trapped in a western cultured worldview; I, we have so much in abundance, its simply mindbogglingly.  Today, my heart is inclined to simply look up and say, "Thank You God!"  A gentle reminder to my spirit that every good and perfect gift comes from above (James to the early church).



The Zone

The Zone

The other day I was on a 6 mile run along the bluff just north of Cayucos, totally enjoying the sound of the waves, the mist of the salt water, the birds singing and the absolute beauty of the Central Coast.  As I was increasing my pace, I soon entered The Zone and I was experiencing runners high (If you’ve never experienced an endorphin rush that comes from an elevated heart rate during physical exercise, there’s really nothing like it – it’s simply amazing), a natural high that made all of my issues, my problems seem miniscule.

After my run, as I was driving back to my home in Morro Bay, with sweat rolling down my face, tears welled up in my eyes as I began to reflect on the wonderful life I’ve been blessed with; seriously, a caring & great looking wife, wonderful children, excellent health, a cool job, and a daily relationship with my Creator – so much to be grateful for, the tears just came naturally!

A few hours later, the tyranny of the urgent began to dim The Zone and life had a way of getting back to normal.  Have you ever been there?  When life was working so well only to be blindsided by a disappointment?  Well, of course you have, we all have.  My question, literally then, is how can one maintain that balance of life’s demands and maintain The Zone, as in a runner’s high?  How can I, you, us plod along and not only keep perspective, but also maintain a positive, it will all work out for the good mentality through the good and the bad? 

As a Chaplain and a Pastor, often I deal with some difficult, real life issues; issues like suicide, divorce, drug and alcohol addictions – life issues that if I don’t keep perspective, my mind would short circuit in a matter of seconds.  Here’s a few of the things I do to help keep me, for the most part, stay in The Zone:

• Physical exercise – again, being shape and feeling healthy is paramount for a balanced life
• Alone time – since I’m in the public sector so much, being alone by intention is a great debrief for me
• Daily appointments – I maintain a daily meeting with my Lord to grow spiritually
• Stay positive – I do my best to look at the bright side of things and try to champion the good in others
• Keep perspective – a famous author once wrote, “...all things work together for the good for those who love God...” (Paul to a church in Rome – 1st Century); keeping perspective is key in weathering life

Recently, the MBPD has undergone some radical changes.  From my buddy Richard retiring to Chief Olivas being blessed with a great career move, maintaining a positive outlook and keeping proper perspective is what’s going to get this great department through the impending transitions.  Yes, these announcements and others can move a committed department to anxiety, stress and perhaps even anger or depression; however, by deploying a bit of above, the MBPD will be just fine. 

All to say, if you’re life is chaotic lately, go for a run, get alone, spend some time with your Creator, stay positive and keep perspective – it will all work out!  Thanks for reading, have a great day...